I wish I knew how to quit you.

The trouble with cravings is that they don't just go away. Oh, they go away for the moment, if I indulge them, but they'll return in some new and mutated form. "You've had bread, now have bread with Nutella and gravy on it! HAHAHAHA YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME!"

It's a problem.

Somethings are easy to say "no" to; the candy bar at the check-out, popcorn at a movie theater, most forms of fast food.  But things like ice cream, mashed potatoes, and something as simple as say, a turkey sandwich - those things are difficult. 

The tough thing about being a food addict is that a person just can't stop eating. And a person certainly can't stop going to the grocery store to buy food.  It's easy to think that I'm dedicated enough to go to the grocery store and say "I'm going to make the right choices,"  but it becomes a challenge when faced with aisle upon aisle of things that shouldn't be eaten.  And I'm not even talking regular stores here,  I'm talking about the "natural food stores" that still carry things that I simply shouldn't buy.  Like a crack addict with a dealer living next door - "Hey, kid...you know you want this...I'll sell it to ya for cheap!"

What's more, lately I'm a little tired of the food I eat. I've never been much of a salad person, and I'm trying to eat that at least once a day - usually for lunch.  In the cooler months, I expect it will become even more difficult, because I don't prefer cold food, in general. I guess I ought to start playing with soups, and stews and such.  I've thought about doing just a big pile of steamed (or sauteed) veggies, but that sounds about as satisfying as a date with a Mormon (and equally irritating). And, while the food I make is tasty, healthful and relatively low in saturated fat (or high in saturated fat! cheese is moderately low on the glycemic scale!), it's not what I want.  But then, anytime I eat what I want, the next day I'm cattle-prodded by the depressing reminder that the food I want kicks my butt. Bah, I say.

The one truly soul-satisfying thing that's occurring here is that I'm realizing just how disciplined I can be. The kid who rarely practiced the piano, hardly studied and still constantly procrastinates, can actually walk through a grocery store and NOT buy the challah and croissants.  And, if a well-meaning-but-forgetful friend coos "Lets get a pizza!"  - I can say, "Lets not! And say we did!"

I guess the key here, is to learn to stop looking for satisfaction through eating, and start looking for satisfaction through something else. For instance, blowing up small countries. Viva la fuego.