Love me, love my Pope's Nose.

So, it has been awhile. And I want to tell you all about my continued success on the eating plan, and post a couple recipes, and talk, at length, about how awesome I am.  But, the thing is, it's Thanksgiving, and all the food is in the oven and/or on the stove, and I am waiting for The Magic Hour, and salivating all over myself, and the only thing I can do right now is talk turkey.

My Darling Grandmother learned to cook when she was 9, and that's about the age I was when she taught me to cook. I have many, lovely memories of being in the kitchen with my grandmother, helping prepare the holiday meal. As she has gotten a bit older, I've taken on more responsibility, and gone from just helping to Making Magic Happen. You know. Like ya do. Anyway, for the most part, my grandmother is a fount of culinary knowledge. She knows more stuff about cooking than Bobby Flay and That Douche Guy Fieri put together. She's a good cook. She cooks tasty food. The thing is:  As much as I respect her mad kitchen fu, she and I differ when it comes to cooking the turkey.

If you ask me, and of course, you didn't, but! If you ask me, a turkey should be placed, uncovered, in a 350 degree oven. It should hang out in there until the thickest part of the thigh's temperature is 160. After the turkey has been in the oven long enough to be brown and sexy, put a lid on it, so it doesn't over brown and/or dry out. This is not how my grandmother roasts a turkey. Oh, no.  My grandmother puts the turkey in a 300 degree oven, covered, and leaves it in there for about six and a half years, or until it's DRY AS EVER-LOVING FARK.

Over the last couple of years, we've begun to do the following dance at Christmas and Thanksgiving:
Me: Say, dontcha think we should uncover the bird so it can brown up?
Meme: Not yet.
Me: Say, dontcha think we should check the bird's temp? We don't want it to dry out.
Meme: Not yet.
Me: *sneaks in to kitchen, takes bird's temp, discovers that it's DRY AS EVER-LOVING FARK, finds a baboon, punches it*

You see my conundrum?  But this year, I am determined to succeed. Soon, Meme will take a nap. And, by god, I *will* save the turkey!

Happy Thanksgiving, ya'll.  I'm going to celebrate by eating all the carbs I see. I promise to write more later. Ok, I don't, but I'll either wrote more later or not. Promise!

I wish I knew how to quit you.

The trouble with cravings is that they don't just go away. Oh, they go away for the moment, if I indulge them, but they'll return in some new and mutated form. "You've had bread, now have bread with Nutella and gravy on it! HAHAHAHA YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME!"

It's a problem.

Somethings are easy to say "no" to; the candy bar at the check-out, popcorn at a movie theater, most forms of fast food.  But things like ice cream, mashed potatoes, and something as simple as say, a turkey sandwich - those things are difficult. 

The tough thing about being a food addict is that a person just can't stop eating. And a person certainly can't stop going to the grocery store to buy food.  It's easy to think that I'm dedicated enough to go to the grocery store and say "I'm going to make the right choices,"  but it becomes a challenge when faced with aisle upon aisle of things that shouldn't be eaten.  And I'm not even talking regular stores here,  I'm talking about the "natural food stores" that still carry things that I simply shouldn't buy.  Like a crack addict with a dealer living next door - "Hey, kid...you know you want this...I'll sell it to ya for cheap!"

What's more, lately I'm a little tired of the food I eat. I've never been much of a salad person, and I'm trying to eat that at least once a day - usually for lunch.  In the cooler months, I expect it will become even more difficult, because I don't prefer cold food, in general. I guess I ought to start playing with soups, and stews and such.  I've thought about doing just a big pile of steamed (or sauteed) veggies, but that sounds about as satisfying as a date with a Mormon (and equally irritating). And, while the food I make is tasty, healthful and relatively low in saturated fat (or high in saturated fat! cheese is moderately low on the glycemic scale!), it's not what I want.  But then, anytime I eat what I want, the next day I'm cattle-prodded by the depressing reminder that the food I want kicks my butt. Bah, I say.

The one truly soul-satisfying thing that's occurring here is that I'm realizing just how disciplined I can be. The kid who rarely practiced the piano, hardly studied and still constantly procrastinates, can actually walk through a grocery store and NOT buy the challah and croissants.  And, if a well-meaning-but-forgetful friend coos "Lets get a pizza!"  - I can say, "Lets not! And say we did!"

I guess the key here, is to learn to stop looking for satisfaction through eating, and start looking for satisfaction through something else. For instance, blowing up small countries. Viva la fuego.

a bit on weight loss

The body changes, the numbers stay the same. I've been overweight for most of my life. Even in my late-teens, early-20s, when I was walking several times a week, doing yoga twice a week, and not eating any red meat or sugar, the smallest that number ever shrunk to was 180, and I was still wearing a size 18.  I remember discussing with my grandmother the fact that I had set a "realistic goal" of "getting down to a size 14."  Well, that didn't happen.  I was, at the time, the healthiest I had ever been, but there was no way in hell I was going to get down to a size 14.  After that, I became kind of angry and jaded about it for awhile, and decided that the only way to achieve drastic weight loss naturally was to work-out-until-you-throw-up and starve yourself. I wasn't going to do either of those things, and so I had to learn to love myself as a fat girl.

Ultimately, I think that's why I've worked so hard on stressing that what I'm doing now is not about weight loss.  Weight loss may not happen! At all! But improved health is inevitable.  That's what I love so much about small changes.  The tiniest change can make a huge impact on one's health, and the way a person feels in his or her body. That's really exciting to me!

So, here it is.  I don't own a scale, in part, because my number almost never changes.  But, after three weeks of minimal starch, regular exercise and gallons of green smoothie, I decided to give it a shot.  I would weigh myself.  I made the decision because I could tell that things had been changing. My pants are baggier, my shirts feel bigger, and heck, even my underpants fit differently these days.  That means I lost weight, right? RIGHT?

Wrong.

210.  I have to admit, I was a little deflated.  I was convinced that I'd lost a pound or two. It seemed only logical that the number would read differently. At least a little. And so, I was reminded of why I never weigh myself.  The body changes. The numbers stay the same.

However, sports fans, not to fear.  Casey is still at bat.  This morning, something kind of groovy happened. I decided to measure my waist.  I did it three weeks ago, so that I would have some sort of way to keep track, since I certainly wasn't going to buy a scale. Well, three weeks ago, my waist measurement was just about 37 inches.  Today, it's just barely 34.  So, there you have it. I've lost nearly 3 inches off my waist.  Not too bad, for a fat kid.

on being abundantly blessed with produce

Lately, produce buying has become a it of a hobby.  Several times a week I buy produce, wash it, store it, cook it and eat it.  I think I could buy a bit more at a go, so I wouldn't be buying it as often, but the stuff goes off so quickly, and I don't want to waste anything. I've thought about signing up to get produce boxes from Los Poblanos Organics, but here is the thing: There's all kinds of produce that I buy regularly to put in smoothies. If those things didn't wind up in the box, I'd still have to buy them. And, while I understand a person can pick and choose a little with what's inside the boxes, if I got a box of beets and watermelon (not likely, because they're different seasonally,I think, but let's just say...), I'd have to launch it in to orbit or give it away or something.  It's not that I don't like beets and watermelon, I love them, but they're Not On My List.  And I don't want you to think I'm complaining; I'm not. But there are days when I wish I had a Produce Faerie.

On average, this is what I'm buying per-week. For anyone with a family, this probably won't seem like much.

Kale (2 pre-washed bags full, or 2-3 large bunches)
Bananas (approximately 14)
Apples (about 6)
Peaches, plums or other assorted fruits (between 5-10)
Berries (only I've found that Costco is a lifesaver for these, either fresh or frozen, so I haven't had to buy them much.)
Lettuce (2 heads a week)
Tomatoes (4-5)
Bell Pepper (1)
Baby carrots (yes, I know, they're not really baby carrots. 1 bag)
Seedless cucumber (1)
Mushrooms (1 container)
Broccoli, zucchini, green beans, and/or any combination of other delicious-looking veggies to serve with dinner.

...and I think that's it.  And believe it or not, I'm actually saving money, because even though I generally buy organic, I'm not going out to eat as much, and I'm not impulse-buying junk food.  I do, however, think the folks at Whole Foods and Sunflower Market are getting sick of looking at me.  I have every intention of checking out farmer's markets. There are a couple nearby that actually run during the week and are open late enough for me to get to them.  I lament the fact that I work Saturdays, because I'd really love to visit the market in Corrales; I hear it's quite something.

omgwtfdetox!!!

Last evening I had a lovely dinner-with-friends and ate all the wrong things. Red meat, potatoes, bread, and a Sidecar to drink. Today, I feel tired, depressed, tense AND, I have a headache.  To think I used to eat like that all the time. It's a wonder I could get out of bed.  This whole clean-living thing is a double-edged sword, man. I eat the good things all the time, but can't stop thinking about the not-so good things. But if I eat the not-so good things, I feel like hell.  I guess the lesson here is to learn to stop thinking about the not-so good things, and start thinking about, I dunno...Bono...instead. He's getting kinda long in the tooth, yeah?

game postponed on account of rain.

In case of emergency, eat sandwich.  Rather, in case of death-of-animal-family-member, eat sandwich. And a lot of chips.  A LOT of chips. Because, really, how comforting is a salad?  

Self-medicate much? Yes, indeed. Onward.

a green smoothie recipe you will like (or not).

Now, everyone knows that the true Breakfast of Champions is a slice of cold pizza and an ice-cold screwdriver. However, if you're trying not to eat those things, here is a cheerful alternative, and what I've been doing for breakfast.

This is more of a method than a recipe. Here is what you will need:

A blender with some guts.
About half a cup of vanilla, unsweetened almond milk
About half a cup of filtered, cold water
1 Big ol' handful of chopped Kale
1 smallish handful of fresh parsley  - I prefer curly over Italian, but either will work
1 Banana
Half of an apple (I like Fuji), skin on, chopped in to half-inch pieces
A generous handful of blueberries

Here is what you will do with it:

If you have something high-powered and fancy like a Blendtec, you can just toss everything in and press "go."  If you have something less high-powered, I recommend blending the greens and parsley with the liquids first, then adding the soft things (banana and blueberries), and then blend up the apple last.  After you've done that, if you like, you can add some ice to make it slushy and cold.  I'm not an ice person, so I don't. Obviously, you can add or subtract things to your own taste. Experimenting is fun, and much safer with fruit than with drugs!

This makes about 2 and-a-half cups of smoothie.  So, enough for one big one for you, or two average-size smoothies for you and a friend. That is, if you have any friends left after you explain to them that you're not giving them pizza and booze for breakfast.